


Yuri's a fucking snake

by AetherF1ow



Series: Fire Memblem: The Side Stories [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Balthus being Balthus, Balthus is oblivious, Bromance, Byleth recruited Balthus but not Yuri, Can be seen as romantic if you squint realllllyyyyyyy hard, Chapter 4 is stressful man, Gen, Hints at Transgender Yuri, Hyuck hyuck hyuck, I bought the DLC and fell in love with the wolves, I need to finish the game, No Romance, Not an actual snake, One Shot, Platonic Relationships, Post Cindered Shadows, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Someone get the guy more fabulous eyeliner, Thats Balthus' job, Yuri being Yuri, Yuri is a snake, Yuri is overpowered in there i swear, much humor, yuri is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:33:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22758601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AetherF1ow/pseuds/AetherF1ow
Summary: "Y'know, Boss, if you were an animal, I have a good idea of what you'd be."Yuri looked up at Balthus from his tea. "Oh? Out with it, then."Balthus grinned cheekily. "A snake!"Yuri choked on the sip of tea he had.-----Or; Balthus doesn't know what he's talking about.
Relationships: Balthus/Yuri (Fire Emblem)
Series: Fire Memblem: The Side Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636231
Kudos: 21





	Yuri's a fucking snake

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl the DLC story was shit, but the characters were totally worth it. Yuri is actually a fucking snake, and I love him for it

Since the professor had discovered the Abyss, many Ashen Wolf students were eager to explore up above.

Key word; _many._

Hapi and Balthus didn't have a problem with exploring the surface, since they were (significantly) more trusting than the other two.

Key word; _trusting._

The two had been successful with Constance, Balthus even going as far as giving her a spare jacket of his to cover herself with.

Yuri was another story.

Hapi had tried multiple times to get the feminine-looking male total explore the surface, but to no avail.

That's where Balthus came in.

Using that huge brain of his, he decided to bring things back to Abyss from the surface for Yuri to see. Today's item was this thing Sylvain called 'tea'.

"Boss! I gotcha somethin' good!" He yelled down the corridor. A moment passed, and a lavender head of hair poked out of the library.

"Do not yell, my friend. There are many who are unaware of the Abyss as of yet. I would rather keep it that way," Yuri advised wearily. Balthus frowned. "How long were you in there for? You look exhausted."

Yuri smirked. "Since when did you become observant?" He asked innocently, but Balthus could detect the snark behind his voice.

The Grappler grinned. "Since we've met, dumbass."

Yuri blinked in surprise, but the emotion was masked swiftly. "I suppose I shall try this...tea?"

Balthus tilted his head. "I thought you'd know what tea is, since you know what makeup is, and the fact that you're basically a royal."

Yuri shook his head. "I know what coffee is, just not tea," he said. "Coffee keeps you awake until dawn, while tea is just flavored boiled water."

The Grappler shrugged his shoulders, looking down at the tea set he had in his hands. "I guess I'll take your word for it, pal. I dunno what tea is either."

The Trickster chuckled quietly. "Come now. There should be adequate tables in the library." Yuri turned towards the library, his eyes scanning the vicinity for tables. Balthus scratched the back of his neck, easily holding the tea set in one hand.

"You're a hard guy to figure out, y'know."

Yuri glanced back at the taller male. "I have been told so many times. Even by our dear Professor."

Balthus snorted. "Stop flattering yourself," he said playfully.

Yuri narrowed his eyes. "Stop being a damn fool, and maybe I will." He shot back, but the glimmer of amusement in his narrowed eyes gave him away.

They bantered back and forth until Yuri located a table.

In hindsight, it was a crate, with two smaller crates to act as seats. The Trickster frowned. "You didn't sneak any chairs from up there?" He questioned.

Balthus shook his head as he put the tea down. "Nah. They only have benches."

Yuri snorted. "Sounds like it's still a stuck up Academy to me," he joked. The look that briefly crossed his face said otherwise. Balthus knew not to ask.

"So, Boss, why do you wear eyeliner? Is it for a mask or somethin'?"

"Why are you so jacked up?" Yuri retorted swiftly. Balthus laughed. "Personal, eh? I won't pry."

Yuri cast a Fire spell to start heating up the now-cold water. He yawned. "Thank you, friend. I promise I will tell you all you must know in the future."

Balthus hummed, leaving the words he was about to say unspoken. Yuri, however, shot a look at him that he'd seen many times before. He shook his head, his eyes filled with realization. His friend sighed, running a hand through his hair.

The silence lasted until the tea was ready. With a gracefulness that still surprised Balthus, Yuri easily poured the hot liquid into the two cups. "I assume you brought the tea leaves?" He questioned, looking up at the taller through his long lashes. The Grappler pulled out a satchel with the leaves inside. Yuri mumbled something to himself, before putting the leaves in the liquid.

The two sat down, and awkward silence ensued.

Balthus coughed into the back of his hand. "Why don't we talk about...I know!"

Yuri looked at him with an impassive look on his face. "Don't keep me in suspense, Balthus. Out with it."

"What animal we'd be!"

Yuri choked on air. 

"T-That's quite an interesting topic you picked, my friend," he said once he regained his composure. He pretended to not notice Balthus' confused look.

Balthus shrugged. "Alright then, I'll start."

Of course, when he said start, Yuri knew he'd be waiting about five minutes until he got an answer.

Five minutes of silence later, Balthus clapped his hands. "I got it! Now you think about it."

The Trickster blinked. "Me? Alright, but don't get offended if I pick something like a turtle," he joked. Balthus gaped at him.

Yuri was still in the process of thinking what animal Balthus would even be (he was pretty sure it's still a turtle), when the taller spoke up. The Trickster had started to take a sip from his tea when this happened.

"Y'know, Boss, if you were an animal, I have a good idea of what you'd be."

Yuri looked up at Balthus from his tea. "Oh? Out with it, then."

Balthus grinned cheekily. "A snake!"

Yuri choked on the sip of tea he had.

"You're joking, right? You can't be that stupid."

 _No, I think he can be that stupid,_ Yuri thought to himself with an internal groan.

"No, I really think you'd be a great snake!"

"You're the biggest fool in Abyss if you think that," Yuri retorted. "Well, I'm pretty sure you'd make a great deer."

Balthus smirked. "Is this because I was born in the Alliance?"

"No. It's because you're so easy to hunt down." Yuri paused, before deciding to carry on with his sentence. "And that you're easy to kill, but that's if we can even catch you before you beat us into oblivion."

Balthus got more and more red, until the Trickster could literally see a vein in his forehead. He whistled at seeing that.

"Soo...yeah. I'm gonna go now...have fun." With that, he warped away, leaving a seething Balthus behind.

\-----

The next week, Byleth was about to begin the lesson, when Balthus came in, with a tied up and gagged Yuri.

"I got him for you, Professor!" The Grappler said proudly.

Byleth face-palmed.

**Author's Note:**

> We're at 1000+ words bitches YES


End file.
